Turning Pages

I'm still broken. I'll admit that I still care about Jeff, regardless of the fact he broke my heart. He cheated on me. Now my only question is why. I want to know so badly that I think it's killing me more than anything else. I finally started therapy at my university, and within minutes, I was crying. I was pouring my heart out to her, and I just felt all the hatred and disappointment rise in me. It was in there, but I felt more depression than anything before I had the chance to talk to someone else about it. Someone who was not biased by being friends with me.

I started talking to my ex recently, and my ex and I were in an on-off relationship for years. When I told him just how upset I was about Jeff, he told me not to think about it. It's hard for me because I was so close to Jeff in a short amount of time. Kenny started telling me that trust issues will only rise up from thinking about his stupidity. He's right. I'm not going to be able to trust anyone if I'm only thinking about Jeff's mistakes. He isn't really worth the tears. I just can't help but think. There are so many emotions in me that I didn't know could come out that it's scaring me. I just want things to go back to normal. I wish I wasn't so broken, and I wish I could forget about Jeff. It's just so hard when love falls through and the one you cared about cheats on you.

What are my goals right now: turn the page. I swore up and down I fell for Jeff to the point I could say I loved him. I never said it to him, and that's probably a good thing. I just need to breathe. I'm hoping to let things go better over my spring break. I'm going to make some changes for the better and I'm going to embrace my beauty. If he didn't appreciate me, someone else will.

Thinking positively,
Sierra